Rabbit Food

On the evening news the other night, one of the anchors was presenting a national health report. I always perk up during this segment always interested in what the latest trends in health are. I wasn’t at all surprised to hear that smoking rates were at an all-time low (as they are almost $10/pack now). But the shocking part of this report was when the woman announced that obesity is at an all time high and researchers couldn’t come to a consensus as to why.

Now, for those of you who are non-smokers, I don’t expect you to understand this. However! It shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that people who quit smoking gain weight. I think that next time they have an opening for the Executive Director of the APHA — I might throw my name in the hat just to see what happens… Based on what I’ve heard, it can’t be that difficult of a job. Hell, I might even be successful!

I just reached eight months of non-smoking status and keeping the fork out of my mouth is the most difficult part of quitting. If you can’t tell by my cynical writing— I am not thrilled with the weight gain. I’ve gained 12 pounds. I would like to think that it’s muscle (and most good people will lie and say that it is) but I know it’s not. Since when did potato chips and Starbucks contribute to muscle gain? They don’t. Bummer.

So instead of complaining about this gain I decided I had two options: A.) Start smoking again (YAY!!!) or, B.) Work out and watch what I eat. I crunched the numbers and unless I get a substantial pay raise, I don’t think I can afford to smoke again. I really don’t know how I would pitch an increase in salary to my supervisor either. So, I really am only left with option B.

Here I am. The end of week one. I just went grocery shopping with my husband and it wasn’t pleasant for either of us. I put Cheetos in the basket, he took them out and replaced them with rice cakes. Cookies – out. Vegetables – in. I was thoroughly irritated that by the time we left I promised I would go home and make a huge breakfast of greasy food. That would sure show him!

I watched as he put away the normal food and my rabbit food was put in special places by itself to make it easily accessible. I was chastised by my husband to quit pouting and that I would thank him this summer when I would once again rule the backyard in my tiny bikini. I doubted that I would ever be thankful that I was living off granola, rice cakes and veggies and continued my glare-down as he made himself a pepperoni pizza for breakfast.

I only perked up when he said that he would need to start exercising soon because he too, would like to trim down before summer. Wicked thoughts flashed through my mind of making him do push-ups and sit-ups with me. Jumping jacks and squats…. VUAHHH HAHAHA!!!

Misery truly does love company.

Adult ADD

I often wonder if I am a victim of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I seem to sign up for things and then all of the sudden my attention is diverted and the first thing that seemed fun is no longer interesting. You will often find this behavior when you observe two-year-olds. The only benefit of me having ADD is that I will most likely not whack my friend over the head with a wine bottle to take her glass because hers looks better*.

Some of the things I have signed up for have been a half marathon – which I stopped training for. And the National Novel Writing contest – which is half over and I am only ¼ of the way through my 50,000 word count. Hmmmmm. The things that I am suddenly interested in are my CD collection, reading, and sleeping**.

The half marathon is going to hurt. It’s in Seattle which equals that most of it is going to be UP HILL and with my luck, probably BOTH WAYS. I was okay with paying almost the $100 for the entry fee+ and I was deliriously optimistic about my chances of actually finishing the race—until I started talking to people about it. I told my co-workers that I was going to actually RUN the entire 13.1 miles. I told people that I would SMILE when I crossed the finish line. I told my family and friends to come WATCH. What the hell was I THINKING??! Clearly nothing. My boss, sweetest guy ever, looks at me with pity in his eyes and says, “Dacia, there is a really big hill and it’s okay to walk it.” What did my over confident self think when he said that? “Gawff! Dacia doesn’t walk up hills!!! SHE RUNS THEM!”++ Did I mention how fit my boss is and how he probably is right? Yes, people, I am going to die mid-half-marathon.

So the novel writing contest...Ha! I got this idea for a book based on some song lyrics. I figured I could turn it into a full blown novel until I got to page 22 and thought, “Hmm….I don’t have a plot.” I am aimlessly writing and wondering just where this story is going. People have asked, “What are you writing about now?” and I can’t help but just stare at them like a deer frozen in headlights. I haven’t got a clue but I assure you all that it’s going to be a masterpiece+++.

As of today, I have decided that I am not going to sign up for anything else after November. I can’t seem to keep a focus on anything and my CD’s seem to captivate my interest for right now. Although, as I look at this eclectic mash of musical taste, I can’t help but wonder—does even my music suffer from my inability to focus? *heavy sigh*

Looks like Spanish classes start up in January. Maybe I should look into those to give me some focus.


*Notice the use of ‘most likely’ here. It could happen…you never know.

**AND eating…always eating. I never seem to lose interest in that.

+ I am going to wear the thread out of that race t-shirt I tell you!

++ Clearly I am not only a victim of ADD, but also insanity. I am legally insane, I think.

+++Most crazy people do their best work at the height of their insanity.