I completed the most difficult foot race ever yesterday. Every inch of my body aches and I can’t seem to find the phone number for that good looking Swedish masseuse that I love so dearly. But nonetheless, I completed my goal and that’s what matters.
The part about running that I find to be insane is where the mind goes when the body is working that hard. For example, yesterday, the music in my iPod changed to Shakira’s She Wolf. Instantly I thought to myself, ‘I really do think there is a she-wolf in my closet!’ and my butt started swaying to the tempo – as I ran. I felt like suddenly I was on MTV and the world was watching me dance – but I wasn’t dancing, I was running. It wasn’t until a stump appeared out of nowhere that I stopped dancing.
Another funny thing happened…These two guys in incredibly SHORT-SHORTS* were running ahead of me when all of the sudden they started jumping up and down like to little girls yelping and screaming. I couldn’t help but completely stop what I was doing and stare. Apparently, they ran into a bees nest and one of them was stung 3 times! This was on mile 2 of 9… and he finished the race – are you kidding me?! I would have cried, asked for a refund and my mom. Insane. Completely insane.
My final thought is that when I get real fatigued, I start running with my imaginary friend, PB. I call him that because it’s short for Pretend Boyfriend and he is always super handsome**. At any rate, I think everyone who runs for distance has an imaginary friend. The part where it becomes insane is when you really want to quit and your very own imaginary friend*** starts telling you that you can’t quit and they lovingly sort of taunt you. Equally disturbing is when you vocalize your rationalization with your PB and NO ONE LOOKS AT YOU LIKE YOU ARE WEIRD.
So indeed, running is an insane sport which I love to compete in. And who knows? Maybe someday I will run with my PB on MTV with the bees.
*This is another blog post altogether.
**If my husband would run with me, I wouldn’t have to have a Pretend Imaginary Boyfriend. BUT! I am not sure that I would want my husband to compete with me? He would probably trip me at the finish line to win. I mean really? We all know him pretty well.
***Who YOU created.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Hungry
It seems no matter where you drive these days; you can find a homeless person on a corner begging for something. My heart truly goes out to these people, because in reality, it could be any one of us someday. I am thankful that for right now, I have my health, home, family and happiness.
HOWEVER! This is my blog and therefore, I can write whatever I want :). The other day, my bestie and I decided to make a trip to the grocery store to pick up some fresh veggies for dinner*. As we made our way out to the parking lot and into her Jetta, I noticed a man standing on the corner. Immediately, I felt sorry for this man as he had a cardboard sign with the word ‘HUNGRY’ scrawled across it in black sharpie**. When we made our way to that corner, I looked at my best friend and said, “Let’s give him your Snickers Marathon bar.”
Time out for a sidebar….
Now to truly paint an accurate picture about what happened next, I believe we must first define the term ‘hungry’. In my world, when I say I am hungry, that could mean a range of things such as;
• I’m eyeballing your food and would like you to share with me (I call this my dog approach);
• I am going to go from real nice to real mean in 2.5 seconds unless food is immediately shoved down my throat;
• I’m bored and since I don’t smoke anymore, food will have to do.
Other people have different meanings for the same basic idea. My boss, for example, will frequently wander out of his office, rub his tummy and say he’s hungry only to really mean that he’s wondering if I have a nice treat that he might like. My dad, well, when he’s hungry he typically means that he wants 2 pounds of bacon ASAP (refer to bullet #2 in my list – daughter like father??). And finally, there’s the type like my mom and sister would prefer to sample a little bit of everything for taste, texture and the like. These women tend to be of a higher class than my father and me.
SO! Back to the story….
Being the thoughtful person she is, Andrea rolled down the car window and reached over the top of me to hand this perfect stranger her marathon bar***. As she extended her arm and I smiled at him, he looked at us and said, “I don’t eat candy. Do you know what they put in those things?”
We were flabbergasted! Not to be pushed away from her handout so easily, Andrea said, “No, it’s not candy. It’s like a granola bar.”
He continued to look at us disgusted and said, “I can’t eat that.”
Needless to say, I promptly rolled up my window – thoroughly done with this Hobo.
I don’t know what this man expects when he has a sign that says ‘HUNGRY’. Did we not offer him food? Was he expecting organic wheat bread with almond paste+? If I was truly hungry, I would think that I would eat anything offered to be, barring of course inedible things such as wood.
So, in my now slanted view, I don’t feel quite as sorry for the homeless out there knowing that unless it’s money, they will turn it down.
Moral of this story: If he was hoping for sampling of foods, the dumbass was right in front of a grocery store and could have grazed the produce isle and deli. He deserves to be ‘HUNGRY’…..whatever that means to him…does he expect people to routinely roll around with bacon in their car?
*Those who know me well are probably thinking that I also picked up a bottle of wine too. Cynical people! Cynical correct people.
**I identify with hungry…or rather just food in general. Eating happens to be one of my hobbies.
***I would like to mention that these bars are NOT cheap! They are about $1.80 each and runners typically eat them for energy. They are not a candy bar and are a considered a coveted food.
+ © Andrea Billingsley.
HOWEVER! This is my blog and therefore, I can write whatever I want :). The other day, my bestie and I decided to make a trip to the grocery store to pick up some fresh veggies for dinner*. As we made our way out to the parking lot and into her Jetta, I noticed a man standing on the corner. Immediately, I felt sorry for this man as he had a cardboard sign with the word ‘HUNGRY’ scrawled across it in black sharpie**. When we made our way to that corner, I looked at my best friend and said, “Let’s give him your Snickers Marathon bar.”
Time out for a sidebar….
Now to truly paint an accurate picture about what happened next, I believe we must first define the term ‘hungry’. In my world, when I say I am hungry, that could mean a range of things such as;
• I’m eyeballing your food and would like you to share with me (I call this my dog approach);
• I am going to go from real nice to real mean in 2.5 seconds unless food is immediately shoved down my throat;
• I’m bored and since I don’t smoke anymore, food will have to do.
Other people have different meanings for the same basic idea. My boss, for example, will frequently wander out of his office, rub his tummy and say he’s hungry only to really mean that he’s wondering if I have a nice treat that he might like. My dad, well, when he’s hungry he typically means that he wants 2 pounds of bacon ASAP (refer to bullet #2 in my list – daughter like father??). And finally, there’s the type like my mom and sister would prefer to sample a little bit of everything for taste, texture and the like. These women tend to be of a higher class than my father and me.
SO! Back to the story….
Being the thoughtful person she is, Andrea rolled down the car window and reached over the top of me to hand this perfect stranger her marathon bar***. As she extended her arm and I smiled at him, he looked at us and said, “I don’t eat candy. Do you know what they put in those things?”
We were flabbergasted! Not to be pushed away from her handout so easily, Andrea said, “No, it’s not candy. It’s like a granola bar.”
He continued to look at us disgusted and said, “I can’t eat that.”
Needless to say, I promptly rolled up my window – thoroughly done with this Hobo.
I don’t know what this man expects when he has a sign that says ‘HUNGRY’. Did we not offer him food? Was he expecting organic wheat bread with almond paste+? If I was truly hungry, I would think that I would eat anything offered to be, barring of course inedible things such as wood.
So, in my now slanted view, I don’t feel quite as sorry for the homeless out there knowing that unless it’s money, they will turn it down.
Moral of this story: If he was hoping for sampling of foods, the dumbass was right in front of a grocery store and could have grazed the produce isle and deli. He deserves to be ‘HUNGRY’…..whatever that means to him…does he expect people to routinely roll around with bacon in their car?
*Those who know me well are probably thinking that I also picked up a bottle of wine too. Cynical people! Cynical correct people.
**I identify with hungry…or rather just food in general. Eating happens to be one of my hobbies.
***I would like to mention that these bars are NOT cheap! They are about $1.80 each and runners typically eat them for energy. They are not a candy bar and are a considered a coveted food.
+ © Andrea Billingsley.
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