What's a running watch?

I have known my friend David for a long time. One recent evening, out of the blue, David instant messages me on Facebook. The following is the conversation that ensued. I found it ridiculously funny and for you who know Mr. Brotche, you will also see the humor…

David: How you doin?

Dacia: I'm good. Just shopping online and hanging out on FB. How are you?

David: I’m hanging in there...what are you shopping for?

Dacia: I'm trying to decide if I really need a running watch or if I am just fascinated by the buttons. Garmin watches are pretty expensive.

David: what is a running watch?

Dacia: It measures your distance, time, pace, and heart rate. BUT! Apparently they can also walk your dog, cook your dinner, and change your oil for only 10 easy payments of $59.99...

David: holy butt f*cker buy me one

Dacia: Agreed. Aiight. Why not? Would black be ok by you?

David: well I would prefer silver...but black would work. Does it still work if you’re a lazy ass and don't want to run?

Dacia: I think it works like a Wii remote. You just wiggle the damn thing and push a button and it does all the work.

David: lmao thats great

Dacia: I agree. Perhaps that's why they are so expensive. You can brag to all your friends that you just broke the one-mile running record and you really didn't have to do nothing but sit on your ass and play Buck Hunter while twirling a watch. Amazing self esteem builder.

David: in that case I gotta have one

Dacia: In camo or hunter orange to match the plastic gun?

David: camo....hello

Dacia: I figured so. You wouldn't want anyone to SEE the watch being twirled.