Effing Recession

There comes a time throughout the recession where we all need to sit back and really take personal inventory of our financial situations. I am not immune to this. I have had to forego many things that I like to do in order to save money for vacations. These things include:

• Only having an espresso drink once a week;
• Buying shoes on sale;
• Buying generic brand aspirin;
• Limiting my clothes shopping to JUST Saturday mornings;
• And making my own lunches

I am fully aware that these are not huge strides, but thankfully my husband and I are still gainfully employed and the ramifications of our nation being in the toilet haven’t fully impacted my life.

Making my own lunch every weekday morning has been a real chore. Not only do I have to plan to wake up a tad earlier, I also have to tell my husband what to buy at the grocery store. Yes, you read that right, my husband does ALL of our grocery shopping (neener, neener!). At any rate, it is burdensome but I do what I must and carry a lunch bag to work nearly every day.

Today, however, was special. I decided that this morning, I would buck the routine and come to work without any food. Hence, allowing me no other option but to go to a fast food place to acquire rations. When I got to work, I immediately began my countdown to lunch. I envisioned the drive-thru where I would be ordering my meal and what the guy in the window would look like. Would he be the teenager variety with a pimpled face? Or a fat boy with rolls upon rolls of burger induced fat? Either way, I was excited.

When lunchtime finally arrived, I was ecstatic! I quickly jotted a note to my boss asking him if he wanted food, flashed him a smile and flew down to my car. I was going to get fast food today! I love fast food. I love the idea that I can get a hot meal for cheap, its fast (hence the term ‘fast food’), and that all of it is deep fried. However, amid my obsession is the harsh reality that it is expensive if done often enough and it’s terrible for my health (which normally I wouldn’t care, but because there are men on earth, it’s not attractive to be 800 pounds).

I cruised around town until I finally decided that it was Arby’s that I needed to satisfy my hunger. I pulled into the drive-thru (palms sweating and a smile plastered across my face), placed my order (roast beef and French fries), and giddily extracted my debit card from my wallet. I pulled up to the window where I was asked what condiments I wanted as I paid and was handed the brown bag of goodness. Success!!

The whole ride back to work my car was scented with roast beef loveliness. I couldn’t wait to rip the bag open and dive in so imagine my surprise when I got back to work and everyone of my co-workers was missing from their seats. Getting to eat alone at my desk was a better treat than snow on Christmas morning!

I dumped my purse on the floor and opened my bag. To my utter dismay and horror, the realization hit… They only gave me ONE packet of Arby’s sauce. One. Just one. How could they do this to me? Arby’s sauce is what makes their food good and they cheated me of the one thing that I desired the most – a drippy Arby’s Roast Beef sandwich. Upon further inspection of the bag, I realized that I was only given one napkin. One? For a sandwich and fries, I get one napkin?

Comprehension of the situation at hand finally struck it’s nasty cord to the pit of my being. Arby’s was trying to save money through the recession on my dime. Disgust sank into my mind and suddenly I felt ill and unprepared to feast alone....

The effing recession had finally made its way into my brown paper bag of goodness.