Margaritaville Excursion

As most of you know, I am planning to depart for Mexico soon. Leaving behind my precious cargo (daughter and husband) to their own devices*. Thing 1 and Thing 2 will also be on their own so I hope they don’t starve and my fake houseplants survive.

At any rate, I have thought about some activities of interest that I would like to do while livin’ la Vida Loca and one of these activities is drinking at a swim up bar. Those who know me well, know that I love the hot weather, have too many swimsuits/bikinis to count, particularly enjoy floating in my 12’ pool and especially enjoy all of this with a frozen margarita** in my hand. All of which leads me to believe that my return from Mexico may never happen—who would want to leave when the resort’s target demographic is me?! Hopefully my boss will forward my checks+ and my husband and daughter will come looking for me at some point…but not too soon.

But I am off the point, the point is this—what exactly happens at a swim up bar? For example, when I go to a Mexican bar, I am typically served chips and salsa with my margarita. I have also been known to drop a chip or two on the floor or accidently spill a drink++. So what actually happens at the bar when you are sitting in the pool and drop something in? Does the wait staff run over with a little vacuum cleaner and suck that stuff up out of the water or are you then swimming in a sea of margarita mix, chips, and salsa#?

So, during my excursion to Margaritaville, I hope something is dropped in the pool. I will be waiting anxiously with my camera to document this wonder and post to Facebook. The only thing left to wonder now is:

Where do all the drunken people pee?

*Dear God , help us all.

**Let’s not kid ourselves here. I like ANY cold alcoholic beverage in my hand on a warm summer day while floating. Who doesn’t?

+Teleworking was invented for Mexico.

++This is an exaggeration. My drinks are never on the table long enough to spill. It’s usually some drunkard that leans into my table to slur some pick up line at me. Ew.

#This suddenly sounds like a dream come true.