Voicemail

I hate voicemail. I really, truly, hate voicemail. To me, it is a waste of time. In the age of text messaging, caller ID and email, I don’t see a need for it. Just today, my handsome husband called, listened to my phone ring three times and waited to hear my voicemail greeting. All of this was in an effort to simply say, “Hey, it’s me. Call me back.”

SO! To actually engage with people in my life (read: I just wanted the icon on my phone to quit its silent nagging), I checked my voicemail. That exercise consisted of dialing my voicemail, entering my password, listening to the recorded voice giving me options, listening to the stupid message my husband left, and then listen to the options again to delete the message.

(Insert exasperated sigh here)

I believe we, as Americans, are a culture of intelligent people. Why, then, are we still wasting our valuable time recording our voice for people to listen to? We have caller ID for crying out loud! I knew my husband called today—I was lunching with girls from work and ignored the call. If I truly wanted to talk at that moment, I would have taken the call (why is this such a difficult concept? Was voicemail truly invented for those who couldn't take rejection? So in an effort to make them feel better we let them record their voice? Hmmm...). Instead, I kept my attention centered on the interaction in front of me (which I would like to point out is the respectful thing to do). I knew he probably wanted to talk since he called, so why would he leave a message to call him?! Absurd when you think it over, isn’t it?

I only throw my husband under the bus on this topic because he loves me enough to take the abuse. However, the other people who floor me (and this is classic move of a certain unnamed person in my life*) is when someone calls, waits for the whole answering machine/voicemail gig, and then HANGS UP AFTER THE BEEP! I wasted my time to hear a dial tone?! What the heck? I have dated and been dumped enough in life to have had my fill of the dial tone thank-you-very-much.

So, as a resolution to my annoyance: please, please, PLEASE —just send a text, email or let me notice you called via caller ID. I rarely listen to messages anyway and I probably delete your long drawn out verbal drawling**.

The take away from this rant is this: if we are going to use voicemail; let’s bring back the fax machine and type writer too. If we are to go back to our archaic roots, then let’s go WAYYY BACK.

And for those of you reading this—and you know who you are—USE YOUR VOICEMAIL and call me back!


*Carrie Shilman

** Unless it’s my mom, dad or sister—they are the ONLY exceptions—and that is purely out of fearing for my life due to their wrath should I not listen to and return their calls.