Snow

Snowflakes flittering down from the heavens can mean only one thing—the brain cells of Western Washingtonians are quickly dissipating. I often find snow fascinating. Not in the sense that it is precipitation that falls from the sky, but rather the way it changes people immediately. Suddenly we find that we have professional meteorologists among us and Double Doppler radars are abounding!

One of the more frequent comments I hear is that of drivers when they say, “It’s not me I’m worried about, it’s all those other idiots out there!” If we really take a moment to ponder this statement, someone has to qualify as the ‘idiot’. I have learned that I am one of the token idiots and any person that I happen to ride with is as well. I have never actually met anyone who is a perfect snow driver. The women get too distracted by the snow’s beauty and the men are typically trying to showboat. Idiots. We are all the idiots everyone else is talking about.

The other comment I find endearing is, “I will just go as slow as I want and people can pass me if they want to!” Well, I am the first to tell you, you can move faster than a snail and not wreck. This type of driving environment should be the hay day of marijuana smokers— you can literally drive 5 MPH, and law enforcement is none the wiser! In fact, pot smoking might actually help those other over-paranoid peeps relax—pass your pipe to the driver next to you who’s sporting some white knuckles!

I also find it humorous that the snow brings out the wanna-be trucks. You all know what I am talking about. If it isn’t a Ford, Chevy or Dodge—it isn’t really a truck. It may pretend to be a truck, but it’s not. It’s like dressing your girlfriend up to be a man—she still has boobs and therefore will never be a man. Your Hyundai, Honda, BMW, etc. will never qualify as a truck in my eyes. Ever. Love me or hate me, I drive a Focus and I know it isn't a luxuary sedan or truck. At least I am real.

Finally, isn’t it strange that when you try to shove your kids out the front door to play in the snow, they complain that it’s cold? It’s like, DUH! Are you new? Snow has never been warm… Hmmmm… I digress. I’ve trashed on enough areas about snow, I suppose I can leave the kids out of it.

I guess my final thought is this, where can you purchase snow shoes online? I am out of wine and my husband took the truck. Dang.