Social Networking

Ahh….Social networking. MySpace, Facebook, Blogger, Twitter… What could possibly be better than publicly humiliating yourself to 572 of your closest friends and all their friends? Clearly nothing! I love it as do most of my friends and family. I mean, where else can you intimately tell all those people (closest to you of course) that you are currently flossing your teeth? Or that your loser boyfriend finally dumped you? Or that, yep, you went home with that butter-face last night? Only on the internet can we network in such a way that is socially vogue and really not even talk to each other!

I really find it fascinating how there are some people out there who truly believe that because they are on someone’s ‘page’ and they have been ‘friended’ that they are truly friends with that person. In real life people; you probably will never have a phone conversation with that person or hang out with them. Because you have a way to contact them through social networking does not make you friends. Please take special note that this also applies to celebrities – they will accept anyone (duh).

The other interesting concept in social networking is when there are people that trash on it but say they use it merely for “work purposes” to “make those contacts”. I have one thing to say to these peeps – Are you really that lame that you will talk shop with other lame people on your OWN time without getting PAID? Get a life! Oh, and yes, I see you on Farmville (don’t think I don’t stalk you).

The argument will then come from this same group indicating that they are trying to ‘branch out of their industry to penetrate other opportunities’. I call foul on this one too. I highly doubt that Joe Schmoe executive pants is going to hire you based on the qualifications that you are currently ‘considering buying a goldfish’ and that ‘check out the pic of my Chihuahua snowboarding with me!’

I love social networking just as much as the next girl (hello? Blogging every day!) but I also know that it is making me socially retarded. I no longer put out the effort to call my friends. If I care about what they’re doing, I’ll check up on them. I don’t need to see their babies – their pics are posted. Hell, I don’t even have to deal with their smelly animals or houses anymore! I can just admire from afar. I do tend to be a little more honest in the electronic environment. For example, “Whoa! Susie! Your kid looks like a Rhino with that nose!” I figure, as long as I put ‘LOL’ after it, no harm – no foul.

Finally, I must admit that my friend Evan had a superb idea. He thinks that there should be some sort of ghettoized version of Facebook. Like someplace your employer is not allowed to go or search and instead of collecting friends, you collect “bitches”. When I asked him what you would do when you no longer wanted to have said “bitches” he replied, “Bitch Slap Them!” He said this with a tad more excitement than necessary. Repressed rage? Possibly.

I think his idea is golden and he is sitting on a literal multi-gagillion idea and now that I have put it out there some a-hole on my Facebook list (who probably is NOT my friend) is going to capitalize on this idea. Sorry, Evan.

So, in a nutshell, I am that narcissistic demographic who wants to put all my junk out there for the world to see. I like me, and I think everyone else should too. So really, why wouldn’t I share?